Anticipation vs Anxiety

I've always had a love / hate relationship with change.  I love change when I'm the one in control and making it happen.  In fact, there's nothing I enjoy more than mixing up my routines, learning something new, going to new places and challenging myself.  I hate change when it's not me who's doing the changing and I feel out of control.

When it comes to change, I've always associated 'anticipation' with excitement about a positive change and 'anxiety' with changes that I'm feeling not so good about.  To throw something else into the mix, I've discovered there's such a thing as 'anticipatory anxiety' which is defined as '... when a person experiences worry and fear when thinking about an event that may or may not occur in the future'.

I thought it was quite apt as many companies, including my own, have started communicating to their employees about returning to work and what the future will look like.  16 months on and I still have mixed feelings about it all, which I suppose I can now call 'anticipatory anxiety'.  On the one hand, I'm excited about seeing my colleagues and meeting new colleagues that I haven't even met face-to-face yet.  On the other, I'm worried about having less time in the morning and evening for my exercise because I'll be commuting again.  I then have to get a grip and think 'well I did it before, what's the problem'.  Despite the fact that our new working rhythm doesn't come into effect until September, my mind is already full of 'what ifs'.

I've realised that for me, I cope better with change when I'm thrown in at the deep end and just have to get on with it.  The longer I have to think about it, the more anxious I become, when in reality I may be stressing about something that might not even happen.  So, what can we do when these feelings arise?

  • Ask yourself, on a scale of 1-10, how likely the thing you are worrying about will happen.  If it's less than 5, write down something along the lines of "I am worried about XYZ but I know deep down that it's not likely to happen, so I'm going to put it to one side and not worry about it at this moment in time".  If you've scored higher than 5, write down all the possible associated things that could happen, along with any possible solutions.  Emptying your mind of the things you are worried about can really help you feel more in control.
  • If you feel comfortable in doing so, then speak to someone else.  It can be your partner, colleague, boss, friend or someone in a professional capacity.  Try not to bottle things up because 9 times out of 10, someone will either have been in the same kind of situation previously or be able to offer an unbiased possible solution.
  • Reconnect to the present moment.  Whether it's meditation, gratitude, breathing exercises, fitness, playing sport or whatever else floats your boat, do the things you enjoy to bring yourself back to the present moment.
Worrying about the future and uncertainty is perfectly natural and nothing to feel bad about, it's human nature and for most of us it will come and go throughout our lives.  It becomes a problem however, when it affects our lives on a daily basis for prolonged periods of time, and in these cases it's always best to seek professional help.

We all have different coping mechanisms, there's no right or wrong, so do what feels right for YOU.

Stay safe and be kind to others as we enter the next phase of our working and home lives.

#2021


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