The pressure of perfectionism

Do you have 'perfectionism tendencies'?
As far as I'm concerned, perfectionism is the root of all evil.  I know this because I have 'perfectionism tendencies'.  On a good day, it's a pain in the backside and means that I check things half a dozen times; on a bad day, it's absolutely paralysing because it means that I'm scared of even starting something in case I fail.  Yet the sad thing is that I know I'll be way more productive and creative if I didn't worry so much about making the odd mistake, which I do anyway, so it's completely irrational and counterproductive!!

I'm not overly competitive (well, maybe when I'm trying to pass someone in the last 100 mtrs of a race!), and I certainly don't see myself as an anxious person, so why do I have these 'perfectionism tendencies'?  I don't want to let anyone down, including myself, simple as that.

I've been trying to think of ways I could turn this 'problem' into something positive.  For a start, it helps to fuel my determination to always get the best out of myself so that can't be a bad thing, and I obviously care about what I do, otherwise I wouldn't get so hung up on not wanting to make mistakes.  This is one of the things I'm going to be working on this year, setting an intention to turn perfectionism into something positive and not feeling like a failure when I've made a stupid and insignificant mistake.  This in turn will increase my productivity and creativity.

I'm sure this 'problem' is in my nature but I also believe that today's society has a part to play in this perfectionism pressure.  We have so many expectations put on us these days. We keep saying it's ok to be flawed, be vulnerable, ask for help, but do we really believe this message?  No, I don't believe we do because for every message on social media saying 'it's ok to not be ok', there's a dozen more saying you have to look fabulous, have the perfect job and be successful, own a house that looks like something out of 'Ideal Home', go on your dream holiday etc etc.  

The adverts on YouTube tell you how easy it is to be earning a six figure income in as many weeks.  When did it become acceptable to want an 'easy' life, what's wrong with good old-fashioned hard work and having the fire in your belly to go after what you want, with a few stumbles along the way.  That's it, somewhere along the way, we've become frightened of failure, when in reality it's a part of life and can actually make you stronger and more determined in the long run.


4 tips you can use to gain more control over 'perfectionism tendencies':
  1. 'Near enough' is 'good enough'.  Set yourself a time limit and then stop doing that thing you're working on, even if you think there's still room for improvement.  This will help you get into the mindset that things don't have to be perfect before you release them into the big wide world.
  2. 'For your eyes only'.  If you're working on something where you feel like you'll be judged by others, such as a presentation, then your first draft should always be for your eyes only.  Stop, walk away from it, then come back and refine it, but as above don't spend too much time doing this.
  3. 'Achievements along the way'.  Perfectionism stems from a place of feeling inadequate so it's really important to list all your achievements along the way.  I find this tip very helpful when I'm feeling a little wobbly because I'll look back and think 'wow, I can't believe I did that, I'm winning at life after all'.
  4. 'Listen to podcasts'.  I listen to LOTS of podcasts and the message from people is always the same ... they tried, they failed, they got back up and tried again, they had some success, they failed, they had more success, they failed, they succeeded, repeat ......  No-one is perfect, no-one succeeded overnight and there's always times when you hit bumps along the way.  These are a few of my favourite podcasts ...
    1. Squiggly Careers
    2. How to own the room
    3. The Marie Forleo podcast
    4. Harvard Business Review HBR IdeaCast

#2020
Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Better ... Not Perfect

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