Learning to be an optimist

Optimistic October

As we are in the throes of 'Optimistic October', I thought I'd share some thoughts on how we can learn to be more optimistic, because I do truly believe it's something we can learn.  

We usually get pigeon-holed into being either optimistic or pessimistic.  How many times have you heard "oh you always look on the bright side, you're such an optimistic", or likewise, "god you always think the worst, you're such a pessimist".  As with most things in life, I believe our feelings can swing between the two.  Especially when things aren't quite going to plan, I often immediately think the worst before reality takes a hold and I can then start thinking logically on how to remedy the situation.

According to studies, around 25% of our optimism/pessimism is inherited so that's a massive 75% we can work on.  Let's make a start by doing the following:

1.  Put your optimistic goggles on

Don't let one setback ruin your whole day.  Being someone who loves being outside, I often feel rubbish on the days I can't go for a run or walk for one reason or another.  Instead of feeling like the whole day is ruined, I'll reach for my optimistic goggles and think about what I can do instead.  I might do some yoga or maybe get some jobs done that I've been putting off for ages.  

2.  Strap on your shield of optimism

Negativity is a contagious disease so be careful who you spend the majority of your time with.  Spending time with people who are constantly negative and pessimistic can be extremely draining.  I'm not talking about a friend who's feeling down and needs a boost, that's something completely different.  I'm talking about people who see the worst in everything and everybody, every single day.  Back away now!

3.  Brexit?  What's that then?

I'm almost not joking!  I stopped watching the news years ago because it's just so bleak.  It's pessimism at its absolute best ... or should that be worst?  Don't worry, I'm not going to get all political, but whether you voted remain or leave we have to deal with it and look forward.  By the way, we will survive, I don't think we need to stock our larders with bottled water and tinned soup just yet!

4.  Go with the flow

There's going to be lots of situations throughout life that we can't control and it's very easy to go into pessimism overdrive.  I was made redundant in my late twenties and, before I knew it, my negative thoughts were out of control.  How would I pay my mortgage, bills, still be able to afford to go out etc etc.  I remember calling a friend, then we went into town and got absolutely sh*tfaced!!  I started to feel better and look forward to the future after that!!  I'm not recommending this technique for everyone, but the fact is that I allowed myself to get upset, feel angry, have some negative thoughts.  I was then able to look forward and see the situation as a new opportunity.

5.  Keep it real

Being optimistic doesn't mean you have to look at life through rose-tinted glasses 24/7.  Life simply doesn't work like that.  For me, being optimistic is about learning from situations, either good or bad, and taking those learnings forward in order to progress and keep growing as a person.

Homework:  Your homework this week is to think about a situation, doesn't have to be something massive, that didn't quite go to plan.  How did you react initially?  How did you deal with it?  What could you have done better?  What did you learnt from the situation?

#optimistic-october