How's your EI?

Emotional Intelligence

"The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically"

According to some studies, 'emotional intelligence' is the key to both personal and professional success.  

Fabulous, I'm off to the shop to buy a sackful of EI.  Some time later .... damn it!  So what can we do to develop EI?  

Before we start though, can I just point out the empathy component.  My fitness clients will know that I ooze empathy so I really don't need to work on this part!!  😬

Although there are a few different variations on the components which make up EI, the ones shown in the picture above seem to be the most popular.  Their definitions are as follows:

• Self-awareness - 'ability to recognise your moods and emotions, as well as their affect on others'

• Empathy - 'ability to understand the emotions of others and skill in dealing with others according to their emotional reactions'

• Motivation - 'a passion to pursue goals with energy and persistence'

• Self-regulation - 'ability to control disruptive thoughts or moods and to think before acting'

• Social Skills - 'ability to manage relationships and build networks, finding common ground and building rapport'

Take a moment to read through these again and put them into context against yourself.  So, how's your EI?  What areas do you need to work on?  There's definitely a couple that I need to improve upon!

In a world that's ruled by our phones and other technology, it's very easy to lose sight of some of these.  You only have to scroll through social media sites for 5 minutes to see this.  What really upsets me about these sites is the downright nastiness of some comments.  It's all too easy to write horrible things from behind the safety of a screen.  There's nothing wrong with having an opinion but there's no need to make a personal attack on someone.  Let's help play our part in weeding out this nastiness by posting encouraging comments.  Rant over - let's get back to how we can improve our own skills in relation to EI.

Top 10 tips:

1. Think about how you communicate with others - listen, pause, speak and read, pause, respond.
2. Think about 'responding', rather than 'reacting'.  Apply this for both yourself and others.  Don't instantly react to things.  Take a moment, breathe and then respond.
3. Listen, listen and listen again.  Remember that 'hearing' is not 'listening'.  Listen to yourself and listen to others.
4. Always try to maintain a positive attitude in front of others.  Even when things are not going to plan, you can still respond with the right attitude.
5. Don't be instantly defensive when people are giving you feedback - listen, pause, respond.  If you don't think it's correct then ask the other person to give you specific examples.  Quite often, it's valid feedback that we just don't want to admit to ourselves.
6. Show some empathy - put yourself in someone else's shoes.  Don't be too quick to judge others, they might be having a really bad day.
7. Be brave and take the initiative.  Put yourself out there, be the one to lead and take that first step forward.
8. Find solutions, not problems.  Don't moan about things not working when you haven't bothered coming up with any alternatives.
9. Encourage others to find their voice.  Listen to what other people have to say and point them in the right direction.
10. SMILE !!

Have an amazing week and speak to you next week when we'll be in yet another new month!!