How to critique yourself

#Awkward

Last week I had the dreaded Performance Evaluation meeting, I say dreaded because who actually looks forward to not only being critiqued but having to critique yourself in preparation for the meeting - eek, bleugh, puke inducing.

Boss:  So, tell me how you're feeling, what's gone well for you?
Me:  *shrugs shoulders* Erm, hmm, well, yeah, I've done ok I guess.  🙈

Before you start screaming 'jeez, just sack her', it wasn't quite that bad and I had done some preparation work beforehand - honest!  In fact, it actually turned into a very positive experience where I felt comfortable enough to bare my soul and speak openly and honestly.  Yes, my boss is now in therapy!!

Joking aside, it made me realise how awful we are at critiquing ourselves.  I, for one, never feel like I'm doing a good enough job.  But then I thought, 'is that actually a bad thing?'  It's not that I never feel satisfied with what I do, it's more a case of what can I do to be even better and, personally, I'd much rather feel that I had more to give than be walking around thinking 'well, I don't need to do anymore cos I'm already sh*t hot'.

So how do we critique ourselves in a positive way in order to become better?

• Being honest with ourselves is easier said than done and we often do it from a completely emotional point of view which can lead to overwhelm and being too hard on ourselves. So first of all, view a 'critique' as more of a learning exercise than a negative thing.

• Consider things from a different angle by taking your emotions out of the picture.  It might help if you imagine you are someone else talking about yourself.  For example, 'Mary' is a little bit disorganised and forgetful, it would really help if she started to write everything down and make a list of what she needs to do.  By doing a critique in this way, you can emotionally detach from yourself and will be more likely to come up with helpful, useful suggestions for the other person, ie, you!

• Another way to take yourself out of the picture is by critiquing situations and then thinking about how you could improve upon them.  For example, instead of getting stressed when other people send you information in different formats, why not create a template that everyone can use.  This will make life easier not only for yourself but for others too and you'll have a perfect example of how you've solved a problem to show your boss at your next evaluation.  Win-win!!

• Embrace the fact that everyone has strengths and areas that they need to improve upon.  Notice that I'm not using the word 'weaknesses'.  The dictionary definition is so horrible when relating this word to yourself that I'm not even going there.  Remember that you're not aiming for perfection, because quite honestly that's unrealistic, you're aiming to be the best that you can be using the resources within you and around you.

Hopefully, you can now approach your next evaluation, or similar situation, from a more positive angle, so go get 'em tiger.

I know I say this at the end of every single month but really, another month has almost finished?!!

Make the most of the last few days of #jubilantjuly because we'll soon be into #appreciationaugust where we'll be focusing on appreciating all that's good in life.